Tagged with personal

September 4, 2012

This is a weird statement for most people to hear, but I miss high school.

I was looking back at some older pictures and I realized even though I barely slept and even though I worked my butt off everyday, it was worth it. I was known as one of the only ones that was going to succeed in life. I was the one everyone went to for guidance. I tutored kids that idolized me, and I had wonderful friends to hang out with everyday. Sure sometimes I felt like I was under an enormous amount of pressure and I felt like I’d die from the stress, and sometimes I’d get hurt really badly. No matter what, I had a wonderful support system and I always came out stronger and ready for more challenges in the end. Now when my name is mentioned at my old high school, they talk more about my sexuality and less on the fact that I single handedly saved my senior class. How I kept my 4.6 gpa while everyone else was barely keeping a 2.0 because they couldn’t shake off their senioritis. I kind of feel lost like I don’t know who I am, and I’ve lost so many friends.  The ones I haven’t lost can’t make time in their schedules for me, or the ones that do want to see me have a hard time matching up with my schedule. College is great most of the time, it really is. I go to a really wonderful college and I’m doing relatively well academically right now. I just want to be respected, understood, and appreciated the way I was then. I want to feel that happy again. 

May 1, 2012

One of my best friend’s grandma passed away recently…

She wanted to wait and tell me until she could see me in person. As soon as she told me I started crying so badly, but we were out having fun so I tried to suck it up. Thinking about it again right before I go to bed probably wasn’t my best idea. I remember when I lived with my friend and her grandparent’s for a month in Michigan in the summer of 2006. I’m really bad with dates and what happens to me during which year… but for some reason I vividly remember that summer. Her grandma yelled a lot and sometimes it bothered me staying with them… but even so I loved her grandparents a lot. I cried when their dog died and now she’s gone. I’ve been lucky not to have very many deaths in my family yet… but I always get really close to my friend’s families. I haven’t talked with her grandparents in a couple years now and I really wish I could have told her that I missed her. Because of their health I knew it would happen relatively soon, but I didn’t know that it was going to hit me this hard :(

April 30, 2012

I just came out to my grandpa :/

He wishes that I was “normal” and he doesn’t consider me a lesbian because he doesn’t believe I was born that way -.- I tried to explain to him that just because I’ve dated guys in the past that doesn’t mean I’m not a lesbian. Dating someone of the opposite sex is what society says is the right thing to do. You can’t blame me for trying to make my family happy. At least there was no yelling. I’m glad he knows.

April 9, 2012

I’m actually eating sushi…

I usually don’t like sushi, but my school makes it pretty well and everyone around me was eating it so I decided to get some… I’m proud of my self for trying it again.

March 22, 2012

Can you believe both pictures are actually me? I can’t either….I’m done posting pictures of myself, I’m just in awe at how much I’ve changed.

March 5, 2012

Kate, Kauser took this picture because she thought I looked adorable and she wanted you to see lol.

Kate, Kauser took this picture because she thought I looked adorable and she wanted you to see lol.

February 21, 2012

I get to see my girlfriend in 6 days :D I’m excited wooohooo

Thank you Billy Joel, if it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t get to.

February 18, 2012

This is my life…

I was driving my two and a half hour journey to Orlando this morning and I stopped to get gas first and I bought a drink for the road. The drink I bought said it was a stress reliever and I get stressed when I drive on the highway so I thought it would be a good idea to get it… half an hour into the drive I start yawning and I have to force myself to keep my eyes open. I almost pulled over and took a nap because I was so tired. It turns out that in very very tiny print on the back of the can it said “Caution: May cause drowsiness. Do not operate heavy machinery after drinking.” -.-

February 16, 2012

Cancelled my doctor’s appointment today :/

It was way too stressful. I had way too much paperwork that needed to be filled out that would take forever to get over the phone with my parents, and I wasn’t even sure if the doctor was in network. I didn’t think I would be driving myself their but that’s the way it looked like it had to be and it would have been a waste of gas and time if I found out that I didn’t have to correct insurance to go there. Instead I’ll find a doctor in Orlando and hopefully I’ll be able to go in to the appointment by myself because my mother and I will butt heads.